Most people agree that the workplace in no place for romance; however when that spark hits two people, it can be difficult to fight off those signs of attraction. Understanding that beginning any kind of a relationship with a person at work involves more risk than an outside one is the first and possibly most important step.
For those that work at companies in which they seldom see their person of interest, perhaps working in different departments or even different branches of one large company, it may seem like the risk is downplayed and this is often true. However, it is important to remember that once those you work with find out about your involvement (and they almost always do,) that it won't be long before it reaches the ears of those who work with the person you're dating.
The Rules:
Despite all of the normal unspoken dating rules, when it comes to dating a coworker there may be some actual written rules that you have to contend with. Many companies not only frown on fraternization between workers, but actually find it to be a firing offense.
Before you begin any kind of a relationship with someone you work with, be sure to double check the rules on such matters. In some cases risking your employment may be a small price for finding the right person, but in this economy especially it's best to know what you're sticking your neck out for.
For those that work at companies where it is merely frowned upon, the risk may not be as high, but is still worth considering before making a move. Reducing your chances of climbing the corporate ladder or simply stunting your occupational growth may not only hurt your career, it may also bring unnecessary resentment into your new relationship.
The Draw:
Many people may find that the idea of keeping a relationship secret adds to the excitement of it. Thus having an affair or budding romance with a person who you are not exactly supposed to might prove appealing.
Why is the forbidden so enticing? Simply because it makes every moment that much more intense. Those actions that any couple might take for granted might be few and far in between because of the need for secrecy. Holding hands, a stolen kiss or even a longing look in the middle of a meeting could give away the nature of the relationship and therefore each touch may feel like finally giving into a horrible craving.
Many people find that when working together and developing relationship an attraction can build between two people. These types of attraction are often built on the common ground and may not even be strictly about love and lust. Unfortunately this may also mean that once the task at hand is accomplished the relationship may suddenly lose its' luster.
For a great many adult singles the idea of being caught in a passionate moment might also make such a relationship appealing. While this kind of behavior can certainly be fun it may not always fit the criteria of office dating safety and can be truly detrimental to the opinion your fellow coworkers have of you.
The Finale:
Whether or not you intend for the relationship to end, many do and more office romances end than continue into something permanent. If the relationship ends well, there may only be a moderate amount of uncomfortable situations in which you and your ex must work together. On the other hand, if it ends badly, your office may become a source of dread and constant stress. It is important to keep this in mind before you begin dating any coworker because the lasting effect may far outweigh the fun.
The Maneuvers:
If you simply cannot help yourself and must see where an exciting relationship or a steamy affair might lead there are at least a few basic tips you may want to follow so that you do the least amount of damage while having your fun:
- Control those lusty looks across the room, someone will eventually notice.
- Never leave written notes to each other where others could ever possibly find them.
- When you text flirt or email, keep it to your private accounts and always make sure no one can see what you've written.
- Watch your proximity to one another when others are watching; a prolonged lean or pat on the back may give you away.
- Do not tell anyone else at work what you're doing unless you really trust them to keep it quiet.
- Flowers, candy or gifts of any kind should never be given at work or it may draw attention.
- If you have to steal a passionate moment in a closet or coatroom be sure to lock the door and watch for cameras.
- Never go to or leave work together.
- Do not allow your personal feelings to intrude on those at work.
It may also prove useful to discuss some ground rules before any of the fun stuff begins. Though you may feel up to pulling off a little romantic espionage your partner may not be up to the task. All in all, it is a very poor idea for most people to get involved with their coworkers; however you can't always choose the person your heart settles upon. Choose carefully when trying to decide whether or not it's worth the risk of taking the plunge with your heart and your wallet.
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