Despite the fact that there exists, in every one of the fifty United States, a law that strictly prohibits what is commonly referred to as "stalking" there continue to be reports of such behavior. Some of the actions taken by notifying the police are enough to prevent any further damage, but in some cases the final results can be fatal.
Though allowing the knowledge that there exist such people who would commit such violent crimes must not be ignored, it is also important to maintain a balance between safety and freedom. To spend one's life in hiding may improve the chances of avoiding such a monstrous fate, but at what cost? On the other hand to ignore the problem or assume that it may never find its' way into one's own life would be equally as regrettable and could possibly be dangerous.
With a little attention to detail and the use of common sense many of these violent disasters may be prevented. Some people may assume that such incidences are exclusive to say college dating or online where a person may enjoy convenient anonymity. Others may assume that these fixations only take place when there are extreme social unbalances or an age difference in dating that may cause jealousy. In truth, these kinds of crimes do not exclude any sex, age group, race or religion and for this reason every person should take a reasonable amount of precaution in their life.
When it comes to dating questions, safety is often one of the lowest concerns on the list. The anticipation of romance or finding a connection with another person can cause many people to forget that such dangers exist in the world. Though the knowledge that there are individuals who use dating scams in order to invade the lives of their victims is well advertised, most people feel so taken in under these circumstances that they never suspect the event is taking place in their life.
There exist many documented cases in which victims had no indication that a stalker had fixated on them and no warning before the fixation turned violent. Many of these cases result in violent endings or close calls that were prevented only by luck or last minute realizations.
Victims at Random:
Those individuals who are chosen at random may have very few clues that they are being stalked until some violent action takes place, it is therefore extremely important to pay attention to any unusual situations that may indicate such a crime is taking place. Many people take no action because they assume that their suspicions or fears are misplaced and feel foolish contacting the authorities. This mistake has proven a costly one for many victims and their families.
Taking note of any signs that you may be encountering some unusual behavior and making sure to take the proper precautions could prevent these kinds of disasters from taking place.
Some Common Warning Signs:
- Numerous crank phone calls
- Noticing the same person frequenting the same locations that you do
- Any unusual mail or email from unknown senders
- Something has been notably tampered with inside or outside of your home
- Garbage has been rifled through or tampered with
- A stranger questioned a friend about you
- Unusually persistent visitor at your door, sometimes in the guise of something seemingly innocent
- Unexplained gift from unknown sender
- Noticing that someone follows you home, perhaps on more than one occasion
- A strange vehicle parked in the neighborhood in clear view of your home
It is important to note that these types of incidences may turn out to be harmless, but to ignore any signs that give you pause might be a crucial mistake. Paying attention and taking just a few simple precautions may stop a stalker before they have an opportunity to cause you any harm.
Current Statistics:
Another important fact to remember is that the percentage of female victims in the stalking cases is remarkably high, approximately seventy five to eighty five percent depending upon the area. The profile most commonly found in apprehended or identified stalkers is a male ranging in age from twenty five to forty, often with severe social anxieties and mental disabilities. Though these percentages often clearly favor younger female victims, it by no means indicates that a victim who does not fit the standard profile should not at least take some safety measures to protect themselves. There have been many reported cases of stalkers who do not fit the standard profile, fixating on victims that may in no way resemble a typical victim.
The most important key to keeping yourself protected is not ignoring any sign of danger regardless of how insignificant you may feel it is at the time. Simply by paying attention and applying some standard precautions to your interactive life you may avoid ever having to deal with such a terrible crime.
Stay Aware, Stay Safe:
- Make others aware of any suspicions you have and don't be afraid to share specific details
- Never approach a stranger who you suspect may be stalking you
- Do not hesitate to report your suspicions the police, even if you feel a bit embarrassed or uncertain
- Save any evidence of contact to show the authorities
- Never enter your home if you suspect it has been broken into
- Maintain contact with at least one person regularly who would be suspicious if you did not call/visit after a short time
- Protect your identity by taking precautions with your unwanted mail (shredder) and private documents
- Try not to take the same route home every day if your are forced to work or attend classes after dark
- Never enter a strange vehicle even in the event of a breakdown (some stalkers purposely tamper with vehicles in order to gain the opportunity of seeming to offer help )
- Always lock your vehicle, especially in public parking lots. Check your back seats before you enter your vehicle to make sure that they are empty and never enter your vehicle if you suspect a break-in
Protection When Dating or Socializing:
- Use the buddy system as often as you are able
- Always let a friend or loved one know where you are going and about when you expect to be home (you can always call/text if you are going to be late)
- When going on a blind date or online date for the first face-to-face, public places with lots of people are often recommended as the best places to go on a date
- Never leave your food or drink unattended or accept anything you need to ingest from a stranger
- Never accept a ride home from a stranger
- Never agree to move into a more private location with a stranger, especially if the stranger seems insistent about their need to be alone with you (this can be tricky if you hit it off with a person so use your best judgment
Online Safety and Precaution:
- Never give out your personal information to a stranger (address, phone number, work location)
- Research any communities you sign up with to ensure that your safety is a priority. Check forums or online dating review sites where you can find out about the company you're signing up with.
- Do not list any personal information when setting up your dating profile
- Be cautious about giving out personal information to those who you have only recently begun to become acquainted with.
- Report any other community members who harass you ( exp: continue to try and make contact after being asked to stop, trying to reach you in public chat rooms, discuss their opinion or experiences with you with other members in an inappropriate manner)
- Be very careful about the pictures you use in your profile or send to others. The details in a photo may be used to find you. Watch out for such windows into your location: name tags, mail lying around in view, recognizable buildings, sports paraphernalia designated to a city or town
Following these tips and those posted by your local community is an excellent way to keep yourself protected. Once again, there is no better measure of safety than simply paying attention to any warning sign which you are given. However silly you may feel never be afraid to tell your friends, loved ones or the authorities of your suspicions. In order to keep yourself and those closest to you from harm, it is perhaps truer today then ever before, better safe than sorry when it involves possible dangers to your life.
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