Few people have time to spare these days, especially on an issue as confusing and frustrating as dating. For those singles who are looking to meet someone, whether for something casual or a more meaningful experience, it is important that time and energy not be wasted on bad relationships.
With a little preparation and some kind of formula you can cut down on the time you waste trying to find someone who fits your romantic needs. The most important rule you can follow is to stick to your own; though sometimes you may feel desperate or insecure enough to stray away from ideals you set up, this often leads to disaster and at the very least: more wasted time.
So how does one cut down on heartache, dating disappointments and wasted time? By setting about in your dating life with some strategy and perhaps some good dating advice from you to you. This means taking a look at past relationships or dates and determining what about them turned you away or simply fell apart. In some cases this might mean that in order to enjoy successful relationships you may need to make some changes, but for the most part you are looking for key elements that could help you in raising future alarms. This is one part of a strategy that will help you to weed out any areas where you tend to waste your energy and time on people who do not mesh well with your life.
- Step One: Determining how much time you have
Most people have some pockets in their schedules which will comfortably fit some personal time and this can often be used for dating. It stands to reason that if you should infringe upon your normal time for your run-of –the-mill date, the chances of your finding your temporary partner less appealing become increasingly good. To avoid this, carve out some time to devote to dating related activities and try not to stray too far outside the lines, unless it’s for someone really special.
- Step Two: Know what type of relationship you’re after
When you first meet someone it’s no crime to be clear about what you’re looking for. Whether it’s dating relationships or future marriage letting the person you’re with know about the type of commitment you’ll be willing to make if all goes well can help to weed out anyone who doesn’t match up.
- Step Three: Know what you want
Having some key traits in mind, however general, can really help you to sort out the real potentials from the time sinks and will greatly reduce your chances of entering into a bad relationship. If you should find out that your most important traits are not to be found in a potential romance you simply end it quickly. This will allow you to move forward without wasting your time and may give you a better opportunity to meet the real match you’re hoping for.
- Step Four: Where to go to get the goods
If you’re hoping to meet someone special you should find the locations where you have the best chances of making a match. If your local club hasn’t given you much of a selection it may be time to try something new. Places that allow you to predetermine some of the singles you’ll come in contact with by matching your like/dislikes with others are obviously preferable, but any place where you might find those who share your interest is a better place to start than a random grouping of people. For those who really despise wasting time, dating online presents a great opportunity to weed out bad matches before ever coming in contact with them; while at the same time allowing you to narrow your scope of search. If this sounds like the right option for you be sure to create a great profile so that you’re net gets cast over the right group of people.
- Step Five: Strike List
While in the middle of the dating scene one of the largest time wasters is uncertainty; it takes time to get to know another person and all too often once known you find a mountain of qualities that you simply can’t live with. In order to eliminate people from your list quickly you may want to dig deep into your past and look for early warning signs of traits you just can’t stand. If these traits are spotted amongst any potential romances quickly rid yourself of that development and move on.
- Step Six: It isn’t them it’s you
Many singles complain about going on date after date and never finding anyone special. Whether you’re standards are too high or you simply get nervous early on in a relationship it is possible that some or all of the problem might just be you. Rather than repeating the same behavior over and over, (wasting a great deal of time in the process,) if you find that getting into a good relationship seems impossible, you may want to double check on what kind of messages you’re sending out to others.
This doesn’t mean that you have to do a complete overhaul, many relationships go south simply because of misread signals or misunderstandings that get blown out proportion. A great way to be thorough is to ask your most honest and trusted friend to tell you about any annoying habits you might not be aware of and see what kind of self improvement ideas surface.
- Step Seven: Fear Muddles All
There are many different fears that can quickly dismantle a perfectly healthy relationship in no time and letting any of them get the best of you is a great way to keep repeating the same mistakes. Those who are afraid of commitment are often found lamenting over the one who got away, while those who are terrified of infidelity are always lashing out in jealous rages. Tormenting your partner because of fear, or being tormented by your partner’s fear is a great way to end up in relationship counseling, but if left unchecked will probably destroy your relationship.
While some of these larger problems can be worked out and it is possible for you to save relationship time if a success, in many you just end up spending a great deal of time and effort finding out that you and your partner aren’t compatible. Working on your fears and listening to solid relationship advice can be a great way to avoid making some pretty basic, but all too common mistakes. This may also help you to identify problem that others have early on so that you can find out quickly whether or not they are willing to make an effort to change for the better.
However you go about looking for a partner and friend, wasting your time isn’t going to improve your chances. By improving your strategy and technique and not being afraid of some upfront dialog you stand to move quickly by the wrong type and on to those who stand to improve the your romantic experiences.
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