Though many of the actions and conversations that take place between two people dictate that if common sense and courtesy are used, all should be well; this can be a tall order when nerves and the unexpected are added to the mix.
Knowing which words will get another person's attention enough to draw their interest to you may not be enough if you obliterate whatever chemistry you've built up by making a common dating blunder. Many people with dating questions over look the fact that coming across well requires not only taking action and getting noticed, but remembering not to do anything that may spoil the progress you've made.
The well known idea of "being yourself" can be applied to a good portion of dating, but consider the idea that this "self" you're showing may not be how others see it. One must always remember that the image one hopes to present is tried against the perception of others and these may not always be alike. Though you may hope that a certain trait is endearing or an excellent part of your character, a person who doesn't know you well may miss this completely and make a negative assumption about you.
Understanding then that every word you say and every action you take is then open to interpretation you begin to see these things you do not as a deliberate part of your character, but through the eyes of an outsider.
Once this is understood a great deal of progress can be made in improving upon those unique traits that make you who you are and how they come across to others. Being sure that the other singles you meet do get a chance to find out about you before you hit them with anything too extreme is often an essential in the dating world.
Top Five Mistakes Single Men Make:
- The Cocky Come-on: Though it is well known that confidence is an appealing trait in a man for most singles, trying to portray this trait is tricky. If a man shows too much confidence he appears to be egotistical and arrogant and this can just as easily turn people away as get their attention. Balance you healthy amount of confidence with a modesty that allows other to approach you and you may find yourself a happier man.
Fix It: Remember to be confident when approaching a single, but also maintain some level of vulnerability that allows that person some leeway on making up their mind about you.
- Desperation Declaration: In some cases loud, dramatic, even embarrassing displays may be the appropriate action to take in getting an attractive single's attention; in most cases however this tactic is looked upon as a desperate act of a man who doesn't take the individual he's hitting on very seriously, so much as making a game out of the pursuit. Announcing to some complete stranger that you would be willing to sacrifice your pride just to get their attention does not often work the way it does on the big screen and more often ends with an uncomfortable smile and retreat from the target. Though your intention may be to show this person that you are confident enough to be silly and find them interesting enough to risk a little laughter, you may not get the chance to prove your strengths with this approach.
Fix It: Real life is not a film; grand, elaborate gestures can become twisted up and perceived in the wrong way. Allow the person a chance to get to know you before taking this risk in 99% of dating situations.
- Persistence Pay Out: Some men believe that if they continue to push their way into a conversation with an attractive single that eventually this persistence will wear that person down. Not only is this act often looked upon as desperate, but has little chance of allowing the person to look past this initial meeting toward any other pleasant traits that might be lurking under the surface. Many singles may even allow the man's participation in their discussion, a seat at the table, or at the bar, but in likelihood this approach has painted you into the corner of unattractive before you've had much of a chance to share.
Fix It: If your opening introduction or line doesn't do the trick, walk away and be polite about it. In many cases if you remain in plain view, with some flirtatious, but somewhat aloof eye contact you may get another chance.
- Show Quality Ribbon: The balance between making it known that you have qualities that other singles would be likely to find attractive and simply sounding as though you're bragging is not easily maintained. Many men who come across as though they are trying to show off are simply acting upon the very same instinct human's have been acting upon for thousands of years: the need to impress. Whether this display is through physical strength or perhaps a subtle hint at wealth the idea is to attract a sexy single by making use of what he has. Without this display many men would get passed up and yet with it, certain assumptions are made about ego.
Fix It: When attempting to reveal qualities about yourself which you hope will attract singles remember to be as subtle as possible. Strength is often attractive, a large ego, the opposite.
- Insult and Ridicule: Though for many guys tips on how to approach a single may not extend too deeply into the conversation, there are some conversational blunders that seem to come up again and again. One such trait that is quite common can present itself at nearly any time, or multiple times in a conversation; this is the tendency for men to find objects of ridicule in order to appear stronger. Boasting about your strength because you have found another person to pick on is not often the best way to win another person's affections. Whether it pertains to brains or brawn, most singles are not going to be impressed with your comparisons, nor your desire to make fun of others.
Fix It: Curb any habits of insulting others in order to show off and find other ways to advertise your abilities to those potentially romantic interests.
Understanding when these mistakes are made and why even the best of intentions, or attractive of personal traits, can be perceived as dating blunders can help to save you from a great deal of embarrassment and help your chances to meet and get to know other singles. More importantly, knowing what not to do in the dating world gives others an opportunity to get to know the real you.