Many people find that in the beginning stages of a romantic relationship a certain expectation to act indifferently is placed on both people. This can be extremely frustrating if one, or both individuals feel strongly about one another and certainly it can create many misunderstandings in regards to the feelings of either person.
How does a person show their feelings for another in a situation where they do not yet feel comfortable revealing too much about their thoughts? It can be extremely difficult to know exactly which actions will send the right messages to a new love interest and how to avoid exposing oneself to a degree that will create an uncomfortable situation. In truth, many people choose to hide their feelings rather than risk getting hurt by a rejection, or awkward reaction to the admission of how they feel.
Another common problem with this behavior is that even those individuals who are confident enough to share their feelings openly may find that their partners are unable to share so freely. This too can be extremely frustrating when attempting to create an environment that allows for true feelings to come out. Possibly the most difficult aspect of this problem is being able to tell the difference between a person who has feelings that they are unable to share for some reason and a person who simply does not yet have any strong feelings about the other person. Because pressing the issue, even when accomplished carefully, can further complicate any relationship many people feel compelled to simply give up on the idea altogether.
- Strong with a Side of Indifference: Though most people have great difficulty controlling their feelings in a relationship, there is a certain amount of control that any person is capable achieving: how much they allow this new relationship to interfere with their life. While the thought of a new love interest may enter your mind frequently it is possible to maintain a certain level of distraction when attempting to keep those thoughts to a minimum. In many relationships, especially at the beginning, people tend to obsess over the tiniest details and by doing so cause themselves a great deal of frustration. Focusing instead on the basic idea that this new person either will, or will not like you and that there is little that you can do about besides being yourself may help to alleviate some of the unnecessary pressures of new relationships.
- Pay Attention to Signs of Change: Hiding the worst parts of yourself in the beginning of a relationship is common practice for many people because they fear that their love interest does not know them well enough to tolerate their flaws. While most people will be unable to completely do away with such a practice, it does stand to reason that if you feel that these flaws are worth hiding, it might be time to address them. Rather than attempting to deceive your potential love interest it may be far more beneficial to you both to simply work on your flaws.
While working on your own mental dilemmas in a new relationship may present you with a great deal of work an even more difficult problem is trying to detect these forms of indifference, and what they mean, in the other person. How does a person know the difference between a person who is afraid to share their feelings and a person who simply does not have any strong feelings about the relationship to share? The options are unfortunately fairly limited; however the most effective way to confirm another person’s feelings is simply to ask them. This may not always lead you to the direct truth as many people are hesitant to admit their true feelings, but paying close attention to how they tell you as much as what they tell you may be very revealing.
So you have discovered that your feelings for a new romantic interest are deepening and you’re not sure whether they feel the same way about you? How do you find out without confessing how deeply your own feelings run? It isn’t easy and there is no simple and certain path to follow. Many people aren’t even 100% sure of their own feelings about a love interest, let alone another person’s. In order to allow another person to feel secure enough to reveal their feelings to you may require you to share, at least in part, your own.
- Truth: The most obvious way to make your own feelings and another person’s clear is for you to share an honest and open relationship. Because new relationships seldom have reached a level where both people feel certain enough to completely trust each other this solution can be quite problematic. Even if you are courageous enough to share your true feelings how can you be certain that your partner is? While you may not feel completely comfortable wearing your heart on your sleeve, without trust no relationship has a good chance of succeeding. Pay attention to your instincts and any aspects of how your partner shares with you that may come across as something worth paying attention to. Always keep in mind that even if your partner is madly in love with you, this can be a difficult thing to admit.
- Treatment: Without the use of words an excellent way to gage feelings is to pay attention to the way your love interest treats you. Is this person very considerate of your feelings? Do they pay attention to the things you talk about and do they remember those little details later on? Showing concern about how you feel and an interest in what’s happening in your life is an excellent way to discover how close a person feels to you, or hopes to be, without actually have the verbal confirmation.
Though navigating mental games is perhaps one of the least attractive aspects of dating, many people still choose to participate in them rather than lose their chance at happiness. In truth, most people hope to avoid a great deal of miscommunication and confusion that such games inevitably cause in relationships, but often get caught up in them because our society has made them apart of the dating world. Take each new piece of information and your own feelings step-by-step; use patience and caution and remember that if you have met the right person, it won’t be long before you’ll both be laughing at those silly games people play when dating.
<<< The Mental Games of Dating Volume I: Making the First Move
<<< The Mental Games of Dating Volume II: Female Looks and Body Language
<<< The Mental Games of Dating Volume III: Men ’s Communication
Other Articles You May Enjoy |
| |
|
|
|
