Trying to come up with a definition of true love can be a difficult task as the experience can differ so much from person to person. In order to determine whether or not your feelings, or the feelings another person has shown toward you, are a healthy display of affection it is important to understand what types of thoughts and actions might be considered crossing the line.
Those who are going about finding true love in the right way will often have a healthy respect for those they become involved with. Others who may become obsessed, not just with an individual, but with the very idea of one true love bringing about meaning into their lives, may take on an unhealthy edge in their pursuit.
Falling In Love:
When it comes to love and relationships there are certain signs to look for that show a healthy balance between two people is being formed that may lead to a meaningful connection. Being involved in your own romantic love story can be one of the most amazing experiences in life and though at times you may not feel completely in control of your own feelings, this is not necessarily an indication that you’re on the wrong path.
Some Key Points of Love:
- Your Normal Life: Though a person’s emotional state might have some interesting new levels during the process of falling in love, the remaining aspects of their life should not be left to wither. A good sign that a person is handling their new feelings with a healthy attitude is how well they balance out the other activities in their life.
- Work: Though one might be tempted to neglect work in favor of spending time with a new sweetheart an excellent sign of balance is to see that an occupation is attended to despite the greater pull toward daydreaming or playing hooky. This can also be a sign that a person realizes a larger picture and understands that their efforts in financial matters will help to improve the life they hope to share with their mate.
- Others: It is very typical for those newly in love to neglect their friends and family somewhat during the early stages; this however only to be accepted to a point. Spending a few romantic weekends shutting out the world is perfectly normally, while allowing friendships to deteriorate can cause a great deal of damage. Allowing your love life to become part of your original one is the key to not allowing these new feelings to become a negative force on your life.
- Change: While it might be nearly impossible to expect those who find truly romantic love not to change in certain ways, too many alterations may be a sign of tendency to form unhealthy relationships. New interests and activities are a natural part of bringing a new influence into your life and it is important to balance out the new aspects with those that have been a key part of yourself for years.
Obsession:
Those who become the type of obsessed people that mistake their feelings for love can become a truly destructive force in many lives. It is important not to allow yourself or anyone around you to develop such feelings if at all possible. There are often signs of this unhealthy development that can help you or others put an end to this behavior before it becomes a serious problem.
- Emotional breaks: Those who become obsessed with others frequently have difficulty maintaining a normal emotional state and seem to run on highs and lows that revolve around their interacting with the center of their obsession. When these drastic swings become too violent it can cause a person to become unreasonable and even violent.
- Delusion: Certain individuals become convinced that the object of their affection will eventually return their feelings, even if all evidence points to this being unlikely. This type of unrequited love can even spur a person into a deeper state of obsession, in some cases causing them to believe that their lives might be flawless if they might only win over the other person’s heart.
- Dependency: On the road to full blown obsessive behavior many people often become dependent upon one individual for their happiness. While spending time apart or with other friends they might be unable to relax or enjoy themselves, constantly thinking about what that one important person is up to. While it is perfectly normal for two people falling in love to want to be together often, it is also important that they maintain some level of individuality so that they can continue the independent portion of their lives.
- Jealousy: One of the most obvious signs of a forming obsession is misplaced jealousy. It is natural that one partner might become jealous under the right circumstances, but those who become jealous without any foundation may be headed for some nasty feelings down the line. This can often be seen in forms that show jealousy over family members and close friends, even objects that a partner might treasure. The focus becomes that one partner wants to mean everything to the other and becomes frustrated with anyone or anything that takes the focus away from themselves.
Safety:
Because certain individuals can become violent when they become too obsessed with a particular person it is always important to practice certain safety measures in the dating world. Allowing others to know where you’re going on a first date and making sure that you take certain precautions with someone new to your life can greatly reduce your chances for putting yourself in danger. It is also wise to practice smart online dating safety habits when looking for love on the internet as so many singles are today. Remember to be careful with your personal info and any private information that might be revealed by photos.
However silly you feel it is always a good idea to trust your instincts if you believe someone might be acting strangely about your relationship. Always inform friends and if necessary the authorities if you believe someone in your life might become violent or you believe may be stalking you.
Understanding the difference between an obsession and love is vital to anyone who might be feeling that their emotional state is becoming a little out of control. If you are beginning to suspect that your own feelings, or those of someone you know, might be reaching such a stage it is important that you take some time to balance out your life. Try spending some time away from that center of focus and force yourself to become more independent. Remember that in order to share real love you must not hurt the object of your affection or become a negative force in their life.
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