A good deal of the available advice for singles stresses the importance of not settling down until you're sure you've found the right person to share your life with. Keeping this idea in mind, many people find that it can be difficult making time for a thorough dating life and because of the busy lives they lead are often forced to date different people during the same time period.
Attempting to pursue multiple romantic avenues can help when trying to find your special someone, but can get tricky if you're not careful about some of the dating rules that apply to this situation. Taking the time lay some ground rules for yourself may help you to avoid hurting another person's feelings or perhaps, getting your own hurt in the process.
There are basically two categories in which we can place those who date different people during the same time period: Those who have no intention of committing to anyone, at least for the time being and those who might be willing to settle down, but want a chance to find just the right person before doing it. Based on some of the more recent relationship statistics and trends it is easy to see that a great many people are not being exactly honest about their intentions when it comes to romance and this tends to make the process more difficult for everyone.
Your Intentions:
Attempting to lead someone on just to achieve a physical conquest isn't often the best way to achieve such a goal. For years it has been assumed that most men will do or say anything to get a woman to sleep with them, but this tired maneuver has lost a great deal of its' power in recent years for several reasons.
Probably the most likely cause for deceptive failure is that many women have come to expect such behavior in men, and in some cases men of women, understanding that until trust is built anything said may not be entirely true often leads those skeptics to acting in a defensive way.
Another large contributor to the inadequacy of this method is that more women today than perhaps ever before are not interested in making a commitment simply because of a shared intimacy. Some studies even show a new trend of the classic situation being reversed in recent years leaving men longing for relationships that women just aren't willing to commit to.
Understanding that in many cases honesty will serve you better than a carefully crafted deception when it comes to romance is an excellent first step if you intend to date different people. Without the stress of being discovered the process has a much better chance of being successful. Those who attempt to deceive the romantic partners in their lives often find that the guilt and fear of discovery can cast a shadow over their experiences that may not allow them to enjoy their relationships.
Your Actions:
Allowing the people who you have a romantic interest in to know that there are others in your life and constantly reminding them of this fact are two very different things. In order to give each person in your life a fair chance at winning your heart it is important that the time you set aside for each on belongs exclusively to them. The reminder of the competition may cause some to fight harder to win your affections, but in many cases will simply send some of your interests packing.
Romantic Juggler's Dos and Don'ts of Matchmaking:
- DO always remember the names of each of your dates, one slip and you may find yourself alone.
- DON'T discuss dates with other people with your current one.
- DO keep the different personalities of your romantic interests straight so that you don't mix up the traits you like with the wrong people.
- DON'T text flirt with one person when on a date with another.
- DO make it clear that you don't appreciate drop-ins if there is chance you'll be having different dates over at your place.
- DON'T display gifts from one sweetheart in front of another.
- DO follow all of the same dating safety tips with each of your dates, even if you feel more casual about the experience.
- DON'T throw a party and invite more than one of your romantic interests at a time unless your relationships are EXTREMELY casual.
- DO let all of the people you're dating know that your relationships are not exclusive.
- DON'T mislead any of your dates into thinking that you are ready to commit.
- DO be sure to tell any friends or relatives that might be meeting one of your dates to remember that person's name, because this type of slip up can be almost as devastating as if it came out of your mouth.
Jealousy:
One of the greatest, if not the greatest, problems with dating different people is that you run the risk of stirring up strong feelings of jealousy. Not only may your different romantic interests develop these feelings towards their competitors, but you may find that you too have competition.
Obviously anyone who experiences great difficulty with jealousy would be advised not to juggle multiple people at once simply because they run the risk of finding out that their partners are also dating other people. It is also terribly important that if you begin discovering that any of the people you're dating seem to have a serious problem with your other partners that you break off that connection which is likely only to cause you and the jealous person more pain.
Relationships between just two individuals aren't often easy to keep up and the struggle of dating multiple people may prove too difficult for many. A good rule to follow might be that once you begin developing serious romantic feelings for another person, it is time to let all of the others down. After all, for most people finding the right person is too valuable a discovery to let go of simply because they enjoy the exciting lifestyle of dating.
In the end, only you know what fits best for your life and the time you have to devote to romance. Follow what you believe is right for you while maintaining a consideration for the feelings of those you become involved with and you should be able to navigate the dating world guilt free and happily.
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