When one or both people in a relationship, however knew, feel a bit obsessive about their new partner it can seem romantic or passionate. On the other hand, when one person is far more enthusiastic, even pushy about certain aspects of their relationship it can cause some very definite problems.
The responsibility of setting ground rules often falls into the hands of those who tend reserve their enthusiasm for specific moments. Those who are shy, or simply want to be careful about how fast a relationship is moving may find that in order to feel comfortable they must express their wishes with those they become in involved with.
Many individuals experience difficulty in communicating their feelings when confronted with a situation that makes them feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, if these feelings remain hidden one cannot expect that the other person in the relationship will know to respect them.
In order to ensure your chances for success in the type of situation, it is important that you find a way to communicate your needs to your partner, or person you have been dating. Though this is not always an easy conversation to have, if the relationship is to have any chance to grow these thoughts must be shared.
The failure to express feelings about how another person is causing you to feel uncomfortable may result in your termination of the relationship simply because you can no longer feel good about where it is going. Certainly many people feel that some actions should be carried out with common sense and one should not have to remind their romantic interest of these things. However, there are those who do not realize that their enthusiasm is coming on too strongly and do need some help in making this discovery.
Another important aspect of this issue revolves around the ability to communicate. Neither this, nor any future relationships stands much of a chance if you are unable to express your feelings about what you need from the other person. Though this particular person may not be the love of your life, it is still important that you learn this skill so that you are able to progress in the matchmaking areas of your life.
The rules of courtship may differ from couple to couple, but found amongst many of the most common dating questions one can find are issues dealing with coming on too strongly. Learning how to express your feelings about you find appropriate for your life and your relationships can help you to create strong bonds with others and a happier romantic life for yourself.
One of the most common traits that cause others to become disinterested in sharing a romance is the projection of desperation. Whether or not you feel a sense of longing for that special someone, it is almost certainly expected that you show some restraint, especially in when first dating.
When searching through the best dating advice, whether scientific or homespun, you will often find that appearing to be too enthusiastic often sends the wrong message. Though you may consider this to be a poor assumption of your feelings you must consider some of the ideas associated with such an impression:
- If the person is this clingy it must be because no one else wants them
- This attitude shows inexperience
- Obsessive behavior this early on means trouble if an ending should occur
- This person is not independent
- To act this desperate must mean that there is something wrong with this person
- If is this easy to win this person's affection it may be just as easy to lose it
- This person is not particularly interested in me, just the idea of having a boyfriend/girlfriend
- I can expect too much drama from a relationship with this person
- I will never have time to myself in a relationship with this person
These are but a few of the type of thoughts that singles consider when faced with a romantic interest that appears to be too enthusiastic too quickly. Learning how to show your feelings without coming across in a desperate manner may help you to find balance.
Actions to Avoid or be Mindful of:
Consider the very important step in a relationship where one person first confesses their love to the other. Few words in a relationship are more feared or more confusing to some than those three little syllables of adoration. Rather than bluntly revealing your feelings in this way you could instead perhaps find out, casually, how the other person feels about such statements. This may help you to understand why your saying such a thing too soon, or too openly might cause your romantic interest to shy away.
There are many other pitfalls in new relationships or when dating that may cause similar trouble. Jealousy is a very important issue to keep in check should you have a tendency to over react for while there is certainly no cure for jealousy, there are steps you can take to show a reasonable amount of restraint. A good rule to follow concerning this subject: a little jealousy is flattering, too much is just insulting.
Other such actions that may seem reasonable when you feel strongly about another person, but may give the wrong impression:
- Calling too often
- Giving extravagant gifts too early in the relationship
- Making plans for the other person, without including them in the process
- Asking your date to meet your family too early
- Admissions of love too quickly
- Sending too many emails or texts
- Asking for too much attention
- Expecting your romantic interest to share your feelings immediately
- Demanding responses to difficult or personal questions too early on
Perhaps one of the most important fundamentals for couples at any stage in their relationship, whether that be a single date or years of marriage, is allowing plenty of space and alone time. Smothering the person you have feelings for is a poor way to show affection and will often cause that person to resent you. Remember that in order for you to show how much you care, you must always respect the needs and wants of the person who has begun to or continues to hold your heart.