Spotting Warning Signs in Your New Relationship

  In many cases when a person develops strong feelings for another they may feel compelled to help the object of their affection with emotional or mental troubles. Though this may be a noble and tender idea, in many cases the problems that exist are part of some underlying issue that cannot be cured simply by entering into a healthy romantic relationship. A supportive partner may provide a healthy dose of confidence with love and understanding, but if there are deeper problems to be resolved, other treatments may need to be sought out.

  A relationship can be difficult enough when both partners are mentally stable and have relatively few unresolved issues; beginning one where there exists an  ongoing issue that the suffering partner does not address can easily destroy any hope of making it work.

  Though a wide variety of issues that may be problematic in a romantic setting exist, many of which might be difficult to spot in the beginning, there are several which often come with warning signs of their existence if you remember to keep a look out for them.

Dramatic Instigation

  This type of issue is often the result of a childhood greatly lacking in attention or affection though the feeling of neglect could come from just about any person who had an impact in the life of the person suffering from this type of insecurity.

People who experience great difficulty trying to maintain confidence and suffer from low self esteem may be inclined to create dramatic situation in which a lot of attention will be focused on them. Many of the individuals who suffer from these types of problems come across as too needy or clingy and are often unaware that they continue to create unnecessary situation in which they will receive attention.

  The toll these kinds of issues can take on a healthy relationship can be devastating. Regardless of how much attention is paid to the suffering partner it may never be enough. It is also common for many fights to occur because the interaction forces one partner to focus on the other. Those who find themselves partnered with a person in this condition are often put in situations where they are forced again and again to prove their feelings. One may expect to experience anything from being made to feel jealous to a constant manipulation of their words because of their partner's low self esteem.

  Being forced to constantly reassure your partner of your feelings can make a relationship feel like an obligation and in many cases may begin to cause individual problems as well. Many people who have experienced such conditions feel too guilty to leave their partner because it is common that they feel that they have failed in some way and caused their partner's paranoia.

While you may be able to help someone that you care for by building up their confidence with your love in many cases the amount of attention required only increases and becomes impossible to achieve. The end result is often that both partners walk away feelings as though the relationship was an utter failure, one that took its' toll both physically and mentally.

  Early Detection:  Watch for any signs that a person needs constant reassuring of your feelings and does not seem to trust what you say. Another big warning sign might be a person who seems to thrive on drama; becomes excited when a nasty rumor or bad news is around and does not seem to care about how this may affect others negatively.

Lying In Every Word

  Though this problem can also manifest from feelings of neglect or poor self esteem the compulsion to lie about personal experiences or situations can in many cases go undetected for some time.

  Because two people who know little about each other will often find it difficult to read facial expressions or body language at first a lies may be passed off as truth and may cause a person to appear more interesting than they actually are.

  Self esteem plays an enormous part in this problem and though it would seem that a person would be well of their actions, in many cases they may have convinced themselves that their deceptions are in some way justified.

  If a person who has this problem has been acting upon this impulse for many years they might not even be aware of their behavior and when confronted may act shocked or try to deny the existence of an event in which the deception took place.

  This problem can be particularly difficult to spot t first because so many people share the most interesting aspects of their lives when they hope to succeed in finding a partner. Matchmaking is often enough a difficult process without having to assume that any remarkable stories you may hear are probably only the concoctions of an insecure mind.

  Early Detection: If you find yourself questioning any particulars that your new love interest may have mentioned and the details are either vague or don't seem to remain constant upon your asking, you may be encountering a little creative story telling. It's important to understand that many people get nervous about romance and a little white lie is not the same a real issue with deception. Inquire about any stories or general knowledge that seems shady and monitor the response that you receive. Many remarkable events, for example, are often captured on film because of the digital age and this may be all of the proof you need to put your mind at rest. Another big warning sign is if your new friend seems to always have a story or experience to match and top those around them. Those who feel the need to lie often present their lies in a boastful manor so that others are dazzled by their experiences.

Destructive Demand

  By far one of the worst problems a person can find in their budding romance is a love interest with destructive tendencies. Those who suffer from forms of self destructive habits often feel uneasy unless a situation is leaning in a negative direction because they are often untrusting of those that aren't.

  The idea that a person expects everything around them to end up negatively can explain this behavior quite easily; in many cases people who suffer from this outlook simply feel safer when the bottom has already dropped out beneath them, rather than waiting for the fall. Living in this state of mind, however certainly tends to eliminate any hopes of having a healthy relationship as this kind of problem often creates issues with paranoia and trust.

  In the extreme cases you may even encounter those who use the destruction of their own bodies as bargaining tools in order to force a desired result. Threatening acts of self mutilation, even death in order to force a partner to stay in the relationship or meet another demand.

  Though this type of issue would seem easy to spot initially those who suffer from this problem are often well aware of how repulsive it is to others and may hide it well until they feel it is safe to display it. It is common for such behavior to stay hidden for lengths of time while the person feels that things are going somewhat well and reappear intensely at the first sign of something negative.

  The mindset behind such behavior can be very difficult to understand as those suffering from it are often submerged in depression or anxiety disorders which may cause severe ups and downs. A simple, minor event may occur that could send such a person over the edge, while at the same time they may be able to handle another seemingly important disaster with a calm and cool attitude that seems to indicate that they were prepared for just such an incident to occur.

  Again, you may be inclined to help a person in this state, but your effort can only be a partial, if any, solution. A person who has been living with this sort of problem for a long time may refuse to acknowledge the problem outwardly and because of this will often be hesitant to try anything that might improve their quality of life.

  Early Detection: The most obvious signs that you are dating a person with this mind set would be their tendency to expect the worst in every situation. Extreme and constant cynicisms are often coupled with a very negative outlook as well as constant expectation for any happy events to turn out badly. Another sign to watch for might be that any pleasant events which would commonly receive a positive reaction are dismissed quickly. It is common for those who expect the worst not to be very adventurous and if you should encounter a date that is extremely hesitant to try anything new it may be caused by this type of problem, though if you're asking anything too extreme this may not be the case.

  Even the most sympathetic and patient romantics may encounter partners who are simply beyond their help. It's important that you do not allow yourself to judge too quickly, but also that you pay attention when and if you encounter anything in your new relationship that makes you uncomfortable.  Though it may be difficult to question the behavior of a person that you just met, ignoring the warning signs that may be leading you toward disaster would be a cruel act to carry out against yourself.
 
  Remember that you can always help as a friend, without binding yourself romantically to a person, if you feel as though you may be able to lend a hand and though it may be not be easy it's important to explain your feelings to the person so that they can see how badly it is affecting their potential relationships.