| Sometimes it seems that it doesn't take much to make a man head for the hills, something as simple as asking where he keeps the sugar might send wedding bells off in his head, (with the horrific undercurrent of a morbid harpsichord of course.)|
For a certain type of man it may take time before he feels ready to even say the word: commitment, and if you happen to be interested in him enough to wait out this realization, you may need to watch what you say.
In some cases you may be able to broach a subject without sending too strong of a signal, perhaps just enough to get him on your wave length, without him actually realizing that you planted the thought there. By the power of suggestion you may in time be able to change his perception of exactly what commitment means. Though certainly being in a relationship has a price it's not all fights and remote control wars.
Reminding him that your being around has some definite perks is an excellent way to slowly work him up to the commitment stage and if you happen to get the sense that he misses you when you're away, pat yourself on the back because your dating to deliriously happy plan is working.
For those that find themselves pining over a man who is extremely resistant to entering into a committed relationship it may be wise to watch what kind of signals you send out. Though it might seem odd to some, there are many men who fear being trapped in a relationship that makes them miserable. In many cases men feel this way because they have had the experience of watching others, often their parents, endure unhappy relationships. When this negative spin is the only one known to a person you can ask women or men, they often shy away from such a commitment.
Though there may be hundreds, if not thousands, of situations that could clearly scare off a man they are often unique in triggering the ideas that he associates with bad relationships. Some of the most common situations to avoid however are often shared by many men who fear commitment regardless of their life experience. Knowing when to play your mild to major hint cards that you hope the relationship is going somewhere can be quite tricky. Sprinkling your day to day with some mild references and saving those big bombs for those moments when you feel he might be especially receptive may just be the key in getting him to start thinking about your future together.
- Marriage: You happen to watch a movie, see a store display or are otherwise in a situation in which a wedding has been brought to your attention.
Mild: You make a breezy comment about the décor or clothing being pretty.
Medium: Tell him that it reminds you of a film you saw that was particularly romantic.
Major: Ask him if he would like to wear a tux similar to the grooms on his own wedding day.
Freaking Out: You exclaim that the witch in white is wearing the dress you put on layaway.
- Relatives: After having another of those marathon conversations with your mom or dad about how your life is going you get off of the phone and tell him about it.
Mild: You laugh about how sweet it is that your parents still worry about you
Medium: After complaining for a moment about how parents can be you change the subject to something lighter
Major: Let him know that your parent(s) are happy that you found a nice guy and yes you told them about that sweet thing he did for you last Tuesday.
Freaking Out: Inquire about any time off he has coming because you just said yes to a weeklong cruise with him and your folks.
- Shopping: After finally taking a break from your most recent shoe hunt with some friends he calls you on your cell.
Mild: You let him know you're having a good time with your friends and you'll call him later.
Medium: After describing one or two exciting purchases you let him know you miss him.
Major: While giving him a detailed account of why brown boots would never work with that black dress you just bought you let him know you'll want his opinion when you see him tonight.
Freaking Out: Though you maxed out your own credit cards four stores ago, you tell him not to worry, you memorized his credit card numbers weeks ago.
- Fitness: While checking your weight on the old bathroom scale you see that your hard work paid off and you lost some weight. When you run cheering into the living room you see he is giving you a curious look.
Mild: Share your happiness about being fit while vaguely brushing over any exact numbers.
Medium: Confess to skipping a few work outs that you were concerned about and that you're relieved that it doesn't seem to have bogged you down.
Major: Explain about your successful work out and diet program and let him know that you found a similar one just for men.
Freaking Out: Tell him that you were worried about switching meds because last time you blew up to your former weight, but not to worry, this time only the voices came back.
- Children: When taking a long, lazy walk through the park together you pass a mother and toddler who may just be the most adorable pair you've ever seen.
Mild: You squeeze him a little tighter and comment on how cute the little one was.
Medium: After turning your head for one last look at the touching pair you shyly admit you love children.
Major: While pointing out how adorable the mother and child are you inquire about his feelings regarding children in his future plans.
Freaking Out: After passing the scene you reveal that you already have names picked out for your future children, but that you think the first boy should be named after his late father.
However you choose to ease your guy into a relationship ready stage remember that the most important thing you can do not to scare him away is to remind him of the many positive aspects of being together. Though this won't always prove the easiest task with a little patience you may find that your hard work changes his entire perception of committed relationships.