Whether you're just coming of age, or have been away from the dating scene for a while, jumping into the intense social environment that is often required of singles can be a little frightening.
Though there may be some tricks and tips that can help to spur your dating experience along the first question you must ask yourself is: what do you hope to achieve through dating? This is a very important piece of information as it will greatly change how you approach getting to know others and who you will want to be spending your time with.
Though there may be a great many different reasons for dating and hanging out on the social scene, we will breakdown three of the most common reasons for dating and some tips that may help you to get started.
First take a deep breath and take a few minutes to ask yourself what you're looking for and why, be sure to be honest with yourself, no one is judging you here but you.
After answering that question you may want to review each category, skip ahead to the one you believe best suits your needs, or perhaps you may want to read everything in order to make your decision? However you choose to proceed remember that whatever it is that you're looking for, dating should be fun so get out there and have a good time!
Dating for Fun- The Free Spirit
Many singles have little or no interest in pursuing a serious relationship and hope only to meet new and interesting people when they head out to be social. If meeting many new people, flirting with whomever you choose and not being attached to anyone particular person sounds like your ideal life you probably have no desire to settle down any time soon, if ever. Seeing life as an adventure and taking each day as a new challenge is a fun and exciting way to live as long as the party doesn't interfere with the responsibilities which are necessary to live.
TIPS:
- Be sure that you don't use this life style as a way of avoiding your problems; some singles don't actually enjoy this spontaneous lifestyle, but hope it will bring about escape from something painful.
- Finding the time to lead a flirtatious, but non-committal life can be difficult when your daily tasks are piling up; make use of new methods such as online dating which allows for as much flirting online as you have time for without committing to anyone or anything.
- Many singles who enjoy this lifestyle are very free with their physical experiences; remember that when you choose to share this kind of intimacy with others it's important to always use protection.
- Misleading your partners about the intentions you have may achieve a few physical conquests, but is often the mark of someone who is leading this lifestyle in hopes to avoid another problem; be sure that deception isn't a regular part of your routine.
- Do not let another person's idea of what stability and comfort means to them speak for you; if this life style makes you feel that you are living your life precisely the way you want to, don't let an image stop you.
- If you should change your mind about this lifestyle don't feel compelled to continue this phase because you feel that it in some way represents your youth or beliefs, it's simple a choice.
- Even if you're the kind of person who enjoys a little risk taking, try not to let this way of living create a dangerous environment for you or anyone else.
- Make sure that the people who care about you understand why you want to live this way; explain your feelings so that you do not leave them to assume the worst about your behavior.
- Above all try to use common sense when living in this manor; certainly it feels good to be free, just remember that blatantly ignoring the many structures in our society may end up hurting you more than helping.
Dating for Love- The Romantic
The type of person who steps out into the dating world with a heart full of romance will often have an exciting, but treacherous road ahead of them. Finding real love is no easy task, as many singles will tell you. To undertake such a journey requires patience, tolerance and a strong commitment to the goal. Many singles will enter into relationships that they do not necessarily believe include the deep love they have been searching for, but some lukewarm version of it. In these cases it is often that the individual has given up on the idea of finding true love, or a soulmate and has become worried about ending up alone.
TIPS:
- Before you begin your search for true love it's important that you feel good about yourself; if you hope to make any big adjustments to your life work on that before trying to include another person in your transition.
- Know what you're looking for before you begin your search; understanding which qualities you most wish to find in a life partner, and those you couldn't stand to live with may be very important early on.
- Allow people the time to get to know you before you make assumptions about them.
- Don't waste a great deal of time with anyone who you have a bad feeling about; while first impressions can be wrong if after a while that feeling doesn't go away, your gut maybe trying to tell you something important.
- Try not to be too specific about the type of person you hope to meet; while having some traits in mind is excellent a narrow ideal will exclude some very sweet possibilities.
- If after a time you seem to be getting nowhere with traditional methods such as social clubs or being fixed up through friends, don't be afraid to explore new methods such as speed or online dating, you may just find the person of your dreams.
- Finding true love can take time; try not to become pessimistic because of a few bad dates.
- Love can find you when you least expect it and this may be case with your soulmate too. Placing all of your hopes for happiness on one idea can be dangerous, try to remember that you should be happy independently so that your future partner does not feel responsible for making or breaking your life.
Dating for Now- The Undecided
A large percentage of the singles that are out there dating are relatively undecided on the topics of true love, romance and of course marriage or a long-term commitment. This group may also not find the idea of bouncing from relationship to relationship for brief periods of time desirable either. The subject of romance and companionship can be one that leaves many uncertain and many of the individuals in this group may enter into relationships with little or no expectation of what is to come in the future.
TIPS:
- Though you may not know what you hope to get out of the relationships you enter it's important that the other person understands your point of view just in case they do have expectations you're not aware of.
- Don't be afraid to change your mind about where you hope a date or new relationship will head just because you didn't see it coming; sometimes love surprises you.
- When you have no assumptions in mind you can sometimes be left open for just about anything; make sure to stay focused enough on your own safety that you not head down any unsafe journeys on the road to self discovery.
- Remember to have fun with your romances, but try to take the time to revaluate now and then and make sure you're involved in relationships that suit your needs as well as the other person's.
- Never feel obligated to choose one path or another just because someone you know is pressuring you to do so; in either case you will more than likely be making a huge mistake by making such a choice. When it comes to matters of your heat only you can know what feels right to you, follow your instincts until you, if ever, feel right about making choices.
Opening up to the world of dating for the first time or after a long break requires a great deal of courage and right away you should commend yourself for making this decision. A few excellent key ideas to remember, though they may seem a little corny, are appropriate for any lifestyle: Respect and love yourself, especially if you ever hope to find another person who will. Try not to judge people by appearances alone because their personalities may surprise you. Romantic experiences are different for each person and may not go as you plan or happen when you expected them to, try to always have room in your life for love and friendship in whatever form or method they come by.
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