Though determining precisely what each, individual man finds attractive maybe impossible there are certain common traits that men tend to find appealing in general. Initially one might assume that these traits consist of nothing more than a collection of physical ideals, but in truth attraction is based on a great deal more.
For many years now men have had the reputation of focusing more on the physical appearance of their partner than that of any other attribute. While this may seem to be the case at a glance, if one attempts to take a deeper look at precisely why these attractions work, one might be very surprised to find that the physical only plays a part.
What exactly is attraction? While science may still have a few more explanations up its' sleeve, attraction can be broken down into three fairly simply categories:
- Appearance: The most obvious trait to look for is the outward appearance and through this source of stimulation a man may find himself attracted to another person. Though this type of attraction may seem to be surface only, in truth many men are attracted to what they have been taught to be attracted to, and for this reason the response does often have a deeper root.
An aversion to women who may resemble the women a man may have seen as mothering types is often present. While one man may find a particular set of traits extremely attractive, another may find them sexually repulsive simply because they remind him of his own mother.
The way a person looks can also send certain signals about the way they live, or how they are perceived to act by others. A man who likes being in control may seek out a thinner, frail type because this may signal to him that the person is weak and therefore less dominate. On the other hand, a man who desires an active, strong willed partner may look for a completely different type of body structure, one that suggests strength and an active lifestyle.
For these and many more reasons, appearance can play an essential role in what a man finds attractive, though he may not always be aware of the underlying urges that have led him to his preferred set of physical traits.
- Interaction: Whether or not you have love on your mind, you may find that the personality of a person, for better or worse, can greatly change the way you perceive their outward appearance. Many men find that in some cases the beautiful woman with the lousy personality is no match for the plainer, but far more pleasant to be around, alternative.
Even when considering a relationship that may be heavily based on a physical relationship only, a bad personality can ruin the attraction. Some of the women men find most attractive are not traditionally pretty by society's standards, but have interesting things to say and are fun to be with. Though this type of attraction is more commonly felt by men who are looking for more than a one night stand, the effect that a few words can have on the way one person appears to another can be extraordinary.
- Chemistry: The third and final component to attraction we will cover is the physical reaction that a man has to another person. Though many men and women would appreciate the ability to manipulate this aspect there is little chance of telling whether or not the physical and mental chemistry that takes place on sub levels, far below acknowledged thoughts, will be well matched. Not only are the physical components, (reactions to pheromones and other subconscious responses,) almost completely out of the person's control, they are often unaware of what is taking place at the time.
For this reason a man may find a woman who is neither mentally or physically stunning to be the most attractive woman he has ever met, though he may be forever confused about the reason. The battle between such instincts and what society dictates the attractive person should look and act like can be extremely confusing for some men and may force them to develop a very jaded attitude towards romance in general.
Understanding that attraction is based on so many variables can make it difficult to know what to do in order to be perceived as attractive. The easiest first step is to mimic some, or all, of the ideals of the society. Hair styles, clothing and any other outward appearances that can be modeled after whatever image has become popular. Many people resist this notion to some degree because they fear losing their individuality. While it's true that almost no person wants to be lost in an unidentifiable mass of fashion victims, most people find it reasonable to compromise with the current trends and their own sense of style.
So what are some of the best ways to attract a guy? It's important to know what you are looking for before you decide upon a direction. The perceived difference between looking for love and lust can sometimes be apparent with a dress style as far as men are concerned and you wouldn't want to be caught wearing wrong message. Whether it's your clothes or the way you toss your hair when you laugh, knowing what emotional response you are hoping to get from a guy is almost as important as what type of man you are hoping to attract.
It's important to understand that many men perceive women as belonging in two categories: fun, which often evolves physical intimacy; and love which certainly requires commitment and may lead to marriage and family. Deciding upon which type of relationship you're currently looking for greatly changes what you might do to attract a man:
Looking For Fun:
- Sexy, revealing clothing that makes you feel confidant.
- Light, breezy conversation topic that don't reveal too much about your personal life.
- Hair styles that are free and not pinned up or tied back.
- Dress according to your location: don't wear heels for hiking or tennis shoes to the dance club.
- Be ready to laugh and have a good time with others in a social environment.
- Try to avoid any conversation topics that are negative.
- Avoid seeking out a male companion if you have anything which may press you for time, you don't want to have to ask him to meet you later.
- Withhold any strong feelings should they occur, until you have had a chance to rethink your position
Looking For Love:
- Avoid clothing that suggests you're out on the prowl; most men don’t look for a bride in a too short leather mini.
- While you may end up playing some games in the beginning it's often better not to lead a man on into thinking that you're looking for less commitment than you actually are.
- Show independence that would welcome a strong partner. Too needy is a turn-off for a wife or for the night.
- Allow the best parts of your personality to shine through; try not to be shy about who you are.
- When it's appropriate try to be as graceful and elegant as possible; this perception often forces men to take your position more seriously because it reflects a certain amount of nobility.
- If the situation calls for it, allow the man to play his role: opening a door, pulling out your chair for you, this creates a bond that feels more like a relationship. Deflecting such actions may hurt his pride and may give him the impression that your relationship would threaten his manhood. This is not to say that you should be weak, but instinct is still present in most males and if ignored may cause them to feel inadequate.
- Avoid being loud or crass; many men associate this type of behavior with one night stands, not future mothers of their children.
In order to attract a man some women will pretend to be more outgoing and free spirited until the relationship has developed to a point where she feels safe revealing a more dominant and perhaps domestic side. While this ruse has worked for years it often leads to unhappy marriages that end in divorce or with two very lonely people. Try to avoid these tricks whenever possible so that a man has chance to fall in love with you, not a deception.
As always, confidence may be the most precious attribute for attracting others and if yours is lacking it might be time to find a way to boost it. In the end you will have to remain true to yourself if you hope to meet a man who will care for the real you. Knowing when and where to twist things in your favor may help give you just the edge you need when meeting that special guy.
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