At first the dating world can be an exciting prospect and whether you're heading out there for the first time or rejoining the dating community after being off of the market a while you may feel very enthusiastic about getting back on the scene.
The first real problem those looking to meet singles encounter is finding out where people meet who might be interested in a new relationship, or even those just looking to find a date. Those who are finding it difficult may require a little dating help in the form of knowing where the singles are at:
At times you may find exactly what you're looking for, when you're not looking at all:
The general idea that you may have better success at finding someone special when you're not trying to find them is a sound theory for several reasons. First of all, a series of bad dates or strike outs may take a toll on your feelings about dating and can make the entire process seem frustrating. Another plus to not actually looking for love is that you're confidence tends to be a bit higher as you have a good way to be comfortable without the longing and frustration that others may be experiencing.
- Activities/Interests: Getting out into the world by following the things that interest you is an ideal way to meet others. While you certainly can't guarantee that you're going to be meeting singles by following your sense of adventure, you're pretty much guaranteed to have a good time in the process and should you meet someone, to find a common interest right off the bat.
- Out with Friends: Enjoying time spent with friends is a great way to get out a meet people along the way while not focusing on finding a romantic relationship. Building your relationships with your friends may also help you to feel more confident and less dependent on the idea of finding love, which ironically enough can help you become that much more appealing in potentially romantic encounters.
Knowing what you want is the first step to getting it:
For those singles who are focused on finding a real relationship or having a good time with dating it's important to know what type of person you're looking for, why and where to find them. By setting out with some ideals in mind you not only appear to be confidant, but also consistent and focused. Wanting to share your time with someone who you believe will bring value you to your life is an admirable goal and one that other singles you meet might very much admire.
- Getting Set Up: Whether it's through friends or family allowing those who know you best a chance to introduce you to singles who you might find interesting isn't a bad way to go about dating. Though some people tend to shy away from this prospect, if you can trust the judgment of the person trying to play matchmaker, you may very well find a great match.
- Online Matchmaking: Internet dating has become hugely successful and popular and it isn't an accident. Many singles have found that this is a wonderful way to meet people in an environment that caters to those looking to meet others with specific interests, values and life goals whatever they may be. By taking a few minutes to pursue some online dating reviews, find the right community and set up a nice profile you may find dating to be as easy as pushing a button…at least in the early stages.
Getting yourself into the right places to meet people, allowing your confidence to be top notch and knowing what type of person you might be interested in are all good places to start, but should you actually find that right person, you also need to know how to proceed:
Poor first impressions may be fixed, but are not easily forgotten:
Good opening lines are hard to pull off for most people without sounding ridiculous and for the most part a simple hello will do the trick. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and try to remember that anyone who rejects you without even giving you a chance to speak hasn't gotten to know you well enough that you should be offended by their actions.
When starting out a conversation the hardest part is getting over those initial moments when you and the other person might find it difficult to know what to say. Some basic conversation starters may be all that you need to get things going and before you know it, on your way to a wonderful experience:
- Ask about day in general
- If set up by a friend you might mention or discuss any information about them that is interesting, but not something that your friend would prefer you didn’t.
- Inquire as to whether or not the person had anything in mind that they might like to do if your meeting is casual.
- Discuss upcoming holidays or events.
- Inquire about occupation
- Ask about interests or hobbies, unless already known and if so inquire as to current state of either.
- If all else fails, or it is particularly interesting that day you might mention the weather and perhaps some things you like to do during the season, allowing for the other person to share their own habits as well.
Above all else when it comes to dating remember that if you don't give it a chance it is unlikely that you will ever find the fun or meaning that you seek. Get out there, be your best, on your best behavior and try to have fun with process regardless of your goals or how you go about achieving them.
Great Date Guide Volume II ~ Getting to Know You
Great Date Guide Volume III ~ To Commit or Not to Commit