What Kind of Woman Can I Take Home to My Family?

• The Mirror Image: In general, many mothers like to see a few of their own qualities in the woman you bring home to meet them. This can create a feeling of appreciation for your mother. By showing her that your choice in women includes traits which you would find in her you are paying her a very large compliment. In direct opposition, bringing home a woman to meet your mother when she shares none of her can leave your mother wondering about the kind of women you like. Many psychologists believe that people generally pursue love interests who remind them, even a little, of their parents. This behavior can be dangerous when seeking out those with traits which are negative or harmful; however, if the traits are positive aspects of your mother’s personality in all likelihood she will be pleased with your choice.
• Appearance: Though it might not be the truth there are some general feelings that tend to go with the presentation of a wife/girlfriend who is very attractive. Some mothers find that they are disturbed by a lady who is too attractive; sometimes making the assumption that the physical attraction is the only thing you have in common with your lady of choice. In other cases a mother can assume that if a girl is very attractive her looks will eventually cause trouble; whether in the form of infidelity or simply because she is often admired, a mothers concern is for her own child first and foremost. In many cases the best way to handle a meeting between a mother and an attractive woman is to lean in a conservative direction. Regardless of what style of clothing your lady normally wears, help her to find clothing that suits her, but won’t shock your mother. Dressing in an inappropriate fashion is an almost sure way to bring about immediate disapproval.
• Speech Style: Whatever the education and style of speaking your mother is used to she will be more comfortable meeting a woman who she can easily communicate with. Helping to make this situation flow smoothly by making sure your lady friend will have no difficulties in this area is a huge plus.
• Talk Topics: Even if you are facing the difficulty of bringing together two women who have little in common it can help to inform your wife/girlfriend about a few topics to kick start a conversation. Be sure to discuss at least a few conversation pieces that both women are informed about and comfortable with; if necessary you may have to begin these conversations and then let the ladies take over. If you find that your mother and lady friend are getting along nicely, perhaps engaged in pleasant conversation, try to keep out of it and allow them time to get to know each other. If there are many long pauses, or it becomes obviously uncomfortable try to help your favorite women transition into a new conversation; they will both be grateful for the help.
• Showing Obvious Adoration: Mothers are usually very protective of their children and often enjoy seeing another person who shares their devotion to their child. Allowing your wife/girlfriend to speak highly of you in front of your mother can easily melt her heart if she believes the feelings are genuine.
• Flattery: If an opportunity for your wife/girlfriend to compliment your mother arises this can be a great way to soften the situation as almost everyone appreciates a compliment. Be warned though, that if these compliments seem false or overdone the effect can be a complete reversal and may speak only to the falseness of your lady friend.
• Don’t Play Favorites: How ever healthy the relationship there can often be a bit of jealousy when a mother has to share that special place of honor with another woman. Try to show equal amounts of affection and attention, when both of the women in your life are present as to not build any resentment between them.
• Future: Many mothers are hopeful that your new attachment will eventually lead to grandchildren if the woman is right. While your relationship might not yet be at a stage where you are prepared to discuss children, it can be helpful to show your mother what kind of parent your lady friend could be. In many cases, mothers can dismiss qualities that they would normally dislike if they are reminded that they will need to get along well with the mother in order to see their little grandchildren often.
  

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Meeting Dad:

• Appearance: Unlike mothers, father usually favor more attractive girls for their children; sometimes this is merely a case of living vicariously through their child, in other cases they simply understand that a healthy sex-life and strong physical attraction can be excellent for a relationship. Though some mothers can also recognize the importance of attraction, many fathers tend to steer away from thinking about the possible negative side effects of a very attractive woman being in your life. Again, keeping the style of clothing in keeping with a taste that both parents will feel is appropriate is recommended.
• Loyalty: Fathers often appreciate the idea of their future daughter-in-laws having a good sense of family loyalty; this may be difficult to work into a conversation, but if possible can help to ease any concerns he might have about how this new lady will see to future generations of his family.

Parents in General:

• Mannerisms: Despite the fact that much of the world has changed many of the old labels and clichés are still in the back of a parent’s mind when meeting their children’s partners. For ages men have stereotyped women into two major categories: the kind that you marry and the kind that you don’t. Even the most open-minded parents will feel concern if they see the wrong kind of woman on your arm. Though deceiving your parents about what kind of woman you enjoy spending time with will most likely result in a poor relationship; focusing on more positive aspects and ideals they may have in common can help your parents to see past any faults that may have forced them to have misgivings.
• Be prepared: Remember that you are the common link in this gathering of your loved ones and as such you must be aware of how everyone is feeling. While you may not be able to sway particularly judgmental minds, you can always help by making your presence and your hopes for a successful meeting known.

Meeting Siblings:

• In Common: When a person is very close to their siblings a new romantic interest can be particularly difficult to deal with because siblings are often even closer to each other than their parents. It can be important to show your siblings the qualities which you know they will admire in your wife/girlfriend as much as you do. Equally important is assuring your siblings that they will be no less important because of this new addition to the family; much like bring a new baby into a household, it is often necessary to let those special to you know that you will not neglect their needs simply because another person has entered your life.
• Jealousy: Another common problem with introducing a new woman into the family is that some siblings might become jealous, not of the new woman, but of your relationship with her. When a sibling is particularly attracted to a woman this can bring up feelings of competitiveness that may manifest themselves in alternative ways. Most of these kinds of issues can be resolved with a good heart-to-heart talk and a reasonable understanding of how naturally competitive many siblings are.